


so i follow you down your twisting alleyways

by Cirkne



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Losing Humanity, Spiral!Jon, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:21:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22966099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cirkne/pseuds/Cirkne
Summary: There is a door.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 97





	so i follow you down your twisting alleyways

i.

There is a door. 

The door hadn’t been there before but it is here now. He watches it for a moment before deciding to open it. The deciding part seems strange. Before opening it. There’s no will in his actions. 

Nothing behind the door. No dark, no lights. It is simply a door and he walks through. Behind him, now, a wall. To find the exit he has to walk deeper. 

His name is Jonathan Sims and behind the door it is snowing, it is the middle of the night, it is quiet. He’d been staying back in the archives alone, he’d been getting lost in words on words on words on words of fear and pain and loss. Behind the door, things are solid, unmoving, waiting for him to get back. He is going to get back. He is going-

He is going further into where he is, whatever it is. There are only his steps and walls and no doors as far as he can see. 

ii.

Had it been snowing? Or was that before? After? He’s been walking and walking and walking and there’s no end to this. There must be an end to this. It’s been a day, at least. It’s hard keeping time when there are no windows to see the sky change colour through but there are mirrors. It takes him a moment to recognize his reflection but it must be his because there is no one else here and so he looks and looks and watches his hair grow longer though he hasn’t been here that long, has he?

Outside, is it already warm? Do the others miss him? Do the others- who are the others? Vague shapes of bodies and smiles but no names. His own name- 

Jon. He remembers that much. Jonathan. Jonathan Sims. He knows this if he tries but does it matter? Do names matter here? You are alone and you are walking and there’s no end and no one needs to know your name or if you exist outside of here. There’s no outside of here. Had there even been a door? There must have been? Right?

Right?

iii. 

There is laughter but he cannot tell if it is a memory. If anything here is a memory. Maybe his body is a memory. Maybe the moving isn’t real. His legs, or what he once thought to be his legs, are going but this place isn’t changing or it’s changing too fast for him to notice or it doesn’t exist. Or-

What was his name again? Did he have a name before this? Was there a before this?

There’s a reflection but is it his or is it someone else, with him, trapped. 

He closes his eyes and still sees the corridors. He starts trying to imagine doors but doubts he would recognize one now if he saw it. Why was there a door? Did he go in or was he pushed in or has he always been here? Have there never been doors? Just him and this place and the constant moving, shifting, growing, twisting, spiraling, just this and nothing else. 

iv.

Are the mirrors still mirrors if they have stopped reflecting your body. Do you have a body? He doesn’t have a body. If he did, before, he’s lost it somewhere in the swirling walls of this place. This isn’t a place. He’s been lost for weeks or months or eternity. Time is no longer time, was never time, there’s only this place and his thoughts and the mirrors that are no longer mirrors. 

The reflection wasn’t his before and now it simply isn’t. 

Walls. There are walls. He can recognize brick and the ground and he’s still moving. Even now, he’s moving, even with no legs. It’s all he can do. 

The laughter comes again but it’s too close to be real. His thoughts are too close to be real. He doubts the laughter sounds like what it’s supposed to sound but there’s no way he can check, is there. This is the first time he’s heard laughter. No. He heard laughter before. In here. As a memory. Does he have memories? Was he someone before this? Did he exist?

He is all shapes and lies and nothing but thin air. There’s an art to not existing. He’s doing it so well. He is not there. He cannot see or be seen. But he moves, he twists, he opens what was once a mouth and doesn’t let out a sound except for laughter. The laughter is his but it doesn’t sound like laughter or like it belongs to him. 

Nothing belongs to him but he belongs to this place.

v.

He’s all alone here. He no longer moves through the corridors. He is the mirrors and the walls and when they shift, it is his doing and he’s all alone. He exists in this place because he is this place. 

He is all lies and contradictions and a body that isn’t a body or words that are not there but he speaks them anyway. He has been here so long he craves the twisting of his insides to have any sort of purpose. The walls move but only for him so it doesn’t matter. The non-existing outline of this place is now his creation. He wants to exist for someone until they are taken and lost and cannot recognize him. Until he is part of something else than who he took. He remembers the name again but it is no longer his. He can use it, though. The person that had it before is no longer a person so the name belongs to this place the same way he belongs to this place. The same way that he is this place now. 

The memories come back but they’re all anger and sadness and love, under everything, there’s affection and it isn’t his but the feelings still change, still fill his walls like cement. He’s feeding on confusion and, oh, fear, the fear has all but gone, it goes with hope but he knows, now, he knows how to get it back. It’s the memories he needed. He knows who to take, now, to return the fear to the person that is no longer a person, to turn his name into worry. 

He shifts his insides into a door and turns his form into what once was Jonathan Sims.

It’s so easy to lure someone that once loved the person you took. He likes the name Martin, he’s excited to use it.

There is a door. A new door. A shiny, inviting handle. And a voice that sounds almost like it is Jonathan’s asking for the door to be opened.

**Author's Note:**

> idk man jon slowly losing his humanity in season three was very sexy and also the spiral is very sexy so heres a combination


End file.
